Tree vs Lava

It's been four days.

I'd breakdown the hours, minutes and seconds for you, but I already feel pathetic enough as it is. No need to share my lametude with the world.

Yes, lametude is a word. I said so.

I haven't heard anything back from Agent Chica yet, but I'm not surprised.

At least, the rational part of my brain isn't surprised. She's a busy woman, said it'd be a bit of a wait, and well, it's only been four days. Regardless of the fact that she emailed me less than 12 hours after submitting, to let me know that she'd downloaded my book to her handy-dandy e-reader, I shouldn't be impatient, she's doing me a solid by reading it at all.

Ha.

You know that rational part of my brain? Imagine that it's a small, twiggy tree in the path of an erupting volcano.

Paranoid Lava eats Rational Tree.

Which for some reason reminds me of Jurassic Park. "Dinosaurs eat man...Woman inherits the earth."

Best line of the whole film.

And so not the point that I had in mind when I sat down to write this blog.

Despite Agent Chica's awesomeness, I've been entertaining the idea of sending out query letters to agents while I wait for her response.

This is a Rational Tree plan.

I know it's the smart thing to do. After all, the more chances I put out there, the more likely I'll get a yes, right?

Sizzle, pop, pop, sizzle...

The more chances that I'll get a loud chorus of "Oh hell no!"s.

Plus, sending out queries requires research. I'm too busy hitting the refresh button on my email to do research, waiting for an answer that probably won't come until at least tomorrow, given the time differences.

I look at myself spiraling, and want to scream "Don't go to the coast! Head to high ground!" Unfortunately, the cries of the other villagers about to die are drowning me out.

Houseguests and Cementing my Place in Hell

Lois Griffin: Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Stewie Griffin: Why don't you burn in hell?

~Family Guy

My husband has his best friend here for the week. Which is fine, in theory. In theory, that means that the Captain of Nosy and Annoying will be occupied, and will leave me alone to write.

I never much believed in theories.

Instead, I've spent the last few days between work and the couch, watching the two of them stare at the television, like there isn't a great wide world out there for them to go explore. Annoying, yes, but nothing that I feel that I can get righteously irritated about, as they're technically not bothering me.

Unless breathing counts.

Speaking of righteous, I've picked a topic for my book. It's not any that I've outlined previously (because that would be too easy), but instead it stems from a conversation that may or maynot have been fueled by alcohol at three in the morning with a friend of mine. It's about the half-human daughter of the devil, who decides she wants to go to college on Earth.

I expect the Crazy!Christians to start lighting my front lawn on fire any day now.

Particularly because I will be (and already have done) putting words in not only the mouth of God, but of Jesus as well, and making Satan look more like a guy with a shitty job than the Emperor of the Damned.

Really, it's about a girl forced to redefine right and wrong, and learn what it means to be human. Kind of like Harry Potter.

At least, Harry and Eden's authors are similar in the fact that they will have insane crazies throwing eggs at their cars.

Should be fun!